Feed my soul

Nature is a reviver, a healer, a provider of joy, a constant in this maelstrom that life sometimes is. The human caused stress and tension that is so common every day just flows away as my mind suddenly has better things to do. Like puzzling out the bird calling in the canopy above me. Or mystified by a hit of fragrance that suddenly stops me in my tracks and eagerly sends me searching for the source. If I cannot shed the daily debris, the hubris of society, soon my actions would be paralyzed and I would be found mumbling, sitting on a rock with a glazed stare. To feel joy and wonder all around and to allow it to become part of oneself, is to join the community of life in its daily story.

I do not understand how some people find hate and anger as the only way to exist. Much of it from my view is derived from a “better than you” attitude. This arrogance is rather delusional as it keeps the blinders in place, tightly to protect those thoughts that when confronted with the real nurturing face of nature and compassion for life, the “better than you” bubble bursts with little effort. What a sad way to go through life: nasty and snarling. I sometimes wonder about brain tumors being the culprit as something is most definitely wrong. But that would mean we are amid a brain tumor pandemic, which is unlikely. One can try and we have, to reach out and resolve the problems, but after multiple bites, the offering, helping hand is withdrawn and the snarling beast left to wallow in its own bile of hatred. I must ask, “Why do you think you are better than others?” It surely seems that the ethical way that most folks I know grew up with has become trivial to many. Honesty, integrity, compassion and care were all standards to measure the worthiness of a person. How do they treat others and the life around them? If a high moral fiber isn’t worth striving for, then those who feel that way have left the global community and joined the Me Me Me’s.

I think of the people who have become Nature Hoarders and realize that they don’t even care about the land and life. The people who have locked the gate on Forest Road 40E here in Kingston and the same ilk all over our country to keep the people out of their public lands, they don’t care about the forests, canyons and wildlife. The land is just a toy for them to hoard. The joy of being out in nature is foreign to them. Helping a neighbor who is in need, just a waste of time. Picking up trash that someone has strewn along a highway is somebody else’s problem. It is just more “things” to pile up and sit upon while glaring mightily down long noses. It brings to mind the Dr. Seuss’ story “How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” This also brings to mind a favorite Aldo Leopold quote. In 1948 he said, “This much is crystal clear: our bigger and better society is much like a hypochondriac, so obsessed with its own economic health as to have lost the capacity to remain healthy. Nothing could be more salutary at this stage than a little healthy contempt for a plethora of material blessings.” I have to think Leopold would be deeply saddened by how much more encompassing that plethora of material blessings has become in our lives in the 75 years since he wrote that. He knew nothing of cell phones and social media.

I escape these pummeling thoughts by walking on the hillside slopes and observing. It is a great time to release the brakes on one’s senses and have some fun. Have you ever wondered what a dog was experiencing when it spends ten minutes carefully sniffing a bare twig that a four-legged someone earlier brushed, as they passed by? It is a canine novel, and you are walking through their library just barely registering any story at all.

Today I sit and sip, the morning breaking with nary a cloud. The pastels of the sunrise fill the vee between the dark wooded hills. Three Broad-tailed Hummingbirds pause at the feeder between battles for dominance. Or perhaps I am reading too much into their aerial battles. Perhaps it is merely the thrill of the chase or going fast.

I watch a handsome Pine Siskin ward off any intruder daring to approach his side of the feeder. He’s the smallest bird in attendance but with wings spread out, darting here and there with that sharp, pointed beak and defiantly proclaiming that this feeder is mine, he keeps others just as deserving away. Perhaps a balance is obtained by the ebb and flow of living forces. Balance is a fluid concept though, as it is constantly shifting.

Earlier this morning when venturing out in the dark, I was stunned by the stars. We are most fortunate here in southern New Mexico to have the darkest of dark skies. As I look in awe upon the stunning array of stars we call the Milky Way, do many know that what they see is just part of one of our galaxy’s spiraling arms. And there are thought to be more than 100 billion galaxies. That’s a lot of stars. Do others share that deep hope of being witness to a blazing meteor leaving a blue green swath across the morning sky? I wonder. As I stood still in the dark, hopefully gazing upwards, a Great Horned Owl started serenading to all listeners, fearful or in awe. I wondered how successful its night hunting had been.

Then came a soft ha-wheer ha-wheer from the dark. Ahhhh the dawn song of the Ash-throated Flycatcher always brings a warm smile to my face. It is one of those surprises which seem more mysterious in the dark than in the light of day. The pastel skies were slowly lightening to the east and the stars had started to disappear from view. Do you ever stop to think that during the day, when the sunlight illuminates our world, those stars are still up above us shining away?

So, with other like-minded beings, my resolve is to never let the Grinches and Nature Hoarders take my joy away. They can temporarily block my access to certain woods and canyons that I love but I know something they are clueless about. Having something tightly clutched and screaming mine, mine, mine is a hollow life. It gives nothing back to you. A life without joy in the end is cold and miserable.

There are so many ways that nature can enthrall and instill joy. Do not allow the “Others” to dampen your joy of life. Walk in nature and embrace the community that is busy living a full life. Joy and laughter are food for my soul and precious companions to have along on this ride.